Though it's not directly related to writing, our kennel business is a big part of our lives and it does factor into some of our coaching. My husband Pete is the dog guy. He raises Labrador retrievers and is a natural, intuitive trainer. He speaks dog. I don't. I know how to train dogs and pups, but I wouldn't know a thing if Pete hadn't taught me.
To be honest, I wasn't always a dog person. I like them. I appreciate them. But I don't care for dog smells, slobber, shedding fur, or paw prints across my floor. But, if it weren't for dogs, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I've learned a lot from these affectionate, unconditionally loving creatures.
Fourteen years ago, I was still a recovering wreck after escaping an abusive 6-year marriage to my ex-husband. Horrible psychological abuse. My ex was diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after we got divorced and it explained a lot. He'd twisted my brain into knots so I questioned my sanity, contemplated suicide, and had daily PTSD panic attacks. I met Pete in this fragile state and, for some reason, he fell in love with me. I was so afraid to date him that I asked my therapist to give him a psychological evaluation. The fact that Pete willingly underwent the eval' is a testament in itself. Then, after the evaluation, my therapist said I must be healing at an exceptionally rapid rate to even be interested in such an emotionally strong, healthy man. We started dating and, since dogs are such a big part of Pete's life, one of the first things he did was introduce me to his Labs.
Here's another confession: When I started dating Pete, I was afraid of dogs. Even lovable Labs. I'd grown up with a family dog as a pet and thought dogs were fine, but when I was in my twenties I was attacked by both a German shepherd and a tiny Dachshund. Yes, don't laugh. The vicious Weiner dog bit onto my leg and wouldn't let go. I began to learn from Pete how to be the "alpha female." He taught me how to stand tall before a pack of barking dogs. Legs planted firmly and strongly, chin up, head held high. I learned to walk with purpose and direction so the dogs would look to me as a leader. I pretended to be more sure of myself than I was. I also learned to train both older dogs and young puppies. Spending time with Labs boosted my confidence and helped me overcome timidity and fear. They provided much-needed therapy for me.
As I write this blog, it has been sixteen years since I escaped from my former abusive marriage. I've been blessed to be in a stable, loving, encouraging marriage to my husband Pete for going on three decades and I volunteer at our local domestic violence chapter, offering hope through my story, but providing therapy through our older dogs and young pups. We're all recovering from some kind of woundedness and I thank God that dogs are there to offer unconditional love and affection, helping us heal. Even if it does mean putting up with a few slobbery kisses now and then.
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