In our QUESTS calling coaching, we encourage our students to look back and identify the most fulfilling, joyous, and harmonious highlights of their life stories. Let me (Julie) give you an example from my own story.
I had a boisterous (obnoxious, really) group of students who weren't paying attention to a word I was saying. I personally am now a natural leader with charisma. People don't follow me. And, unless I'm really creative (which I've explained in other blogs), kids don't always listen to me well.
To compensate for this deficit, I tried an experiment years ago that worked like a charm. teaching English and history at my little Academy for the Arts and Sciences charter school in Etna, California. I identified the most popular, likable leader in my class (Atticus Kramer), pulled him aside, and asked him for help. I pointed out my observation that other students looked up to him and listened to him as the natural leader he was. I then asked if he would mind telling other noisy students that it would be cool to listen to me when I'm talking, and set an example of listening to me, because they would copy whatever he did. I encouraged him to try it and see what would happen.
First of all, Atticus was stunned that I recognized and appreciated his influential leadership abilities, especially since he himself was one of the noisy kids. Not only did he apologize for being inattentive and disrespectful, but I remember how he looked at me with wide eyes and mouthed, "Wow!" when the other kids actually shut their mouths to listen to me as he'd directed. From that point on, whenever I had too much noise in the class, all I had to do was look at Atticus, signal to him with raised eyebrows, and he'd redirect attention back to me. Atticus and I had a mutual respect for one another, and I leveraged his influential gift to gain the respect of the rest of the class.
I've done this in every classroom in which I've substitute taught over several years now, and it continues to work every time. Often the students I pinpoint as influential leaders want to talk with me more during breaks. They have a longing to be recognized for their leadership skills and want to know how they can continue to use those gifts. I enjoy encouraging them to look for opportunities to lead others, such as running for student government or starting a club or being captain of a sports team.
What began as a problem and my own shortcoming turned into a strength that was a clue to my calling. My ability to recognize natural gifts and talents in others is one of my gifts, and it has always brought me joy. It serves me well in teaching, and it's deeply satisfying and fulfilling as I coach people to find and fulfill their calling.
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